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usullusaThings I need to deal with / that are problems for me right now:
- Apartment. I need one.
- Find an effing job. If possible one with more stability than babysitting.
- The fact that my computer battery has stopped working and now if I unplug my laptop for even a second it shuts off. This happens by accident sometimes because my charger is wonky and occasionally needs to be fiddled with so it works. Makes me dreadfully worried that the charger could crap out entirely and I would be computerless. Can't actually buy a new battery right now.
- The fact that the study abroad program I didn't go on wants money from me / my parents even though I didn't goddamn go. We expected this fee and my parents and I talked about it last winter when I didn't go, but I'm terrified they're going to saddle me with it if I can't work something about with the program. It's a lot of money for me. I mean, really, a LOT. I'm scared just to write it down.
- The fact that I have to deal with this GAP card
- MY PARENTS.
- The fact that every single time I sit down to deal with any of this I get so freaked out and panicked because there's so much of it and most of it is so huge and threatening that I end up panicking and getting chest pains and don't do any of it.
- I'm too stressed to sleep most of the time
Things I actually dealt with today:
- Wrote and sent to my mother the draft of a financial aid appeal letter for NYU after my mother screamed at me that I was ungrateful. I should have done it way earlier...
- Wrote an email to the study abroad program about... stuff.
- Did a bunch of paperwork for an apartment I'm trying to get
Seriously, I could handle all of this if I could go home and have my parents comfort me and enjoy a cup of tea with them and talk to them about everything that's going on. But the whole point is that they're trying to make me overwhelmed and unhappy, so I can't go ask them to comfort me.
- Apartment. I need one.
- Find an effing job. If possible one with more stability than babysitting.
- The fact that my computer battery has stopped working and now if I unplug my laptop for even a second it shuts off. This happens by accident sometimes because my charger is wonky and occasionally needs to be fiddled with so it works. Makes me dreadfully worried that the charger could crap out entirely and I would be computerless. Can't actually buy a new battery right now.
- The fact that the study abroad program I didn't go on wants money from me / my parents even though I didn't goddamn go. We expected this fee and my parents and I talked about it last winter when I didn't go, but I'm terrified they're going to saddle me with it if I can't work something about with the program. It's a lot of money for me. I mean, really, a LOT. I'm scared just to write it down.
- The fact that I have to deal with this GAP card
- MY PARENTS.
- The fact that every single time I sit down to deal with any of this I get so freaked out and panicked because there's so much of it and most of it is so huge and threatening that I end up panicking and getting chest pains and don't do any of it.
- I'm too stressed to sleep most of the time
Things I actually dealt with today:
- Wrote and sent to my mother the draft of a financial aid appeal letter for NYU after my mother screamed at me that I was ungrateful. I should have done it way earlier...
- Wrote an email to the study abroad program about... stuff.
- Did a bunch of paperwork for an apartment I'm trying to get
Seriously, I could handle all of this if I could go home and have my parents comfort me and enjoy a cup of tea with them and talk to them about everything that's going on. But the whole point is that they're trying to make me overwhelmed and unhappy, so I can't go ask them to comfort me.
