PSA

[usullusa]

Dear everybody who reads this ever,

The following is a public service announcement:

I am not a girl. I am not a lesbian. I identify as queer, I accept gay, and my gender is "please don't ever call me female and the rest is too painful to talk about so don't try". The next person that I've already talked to about this and ignores it I am going to snap at and punch, and I'm not even the punching kind. Seriously, the gender part of my life is frustrating and demoralizing enough without your help.

If it wasn't for my family, I would have probably transitioned a while ago. As it is, I'm not even asking anybody to use male pronouns for me. I'm just asking not to get gendered as female. I know it's annoying and hard to avoid pronouns altogether because I've expressed my dislike for gender-neutral pronouns (for myself) and for "they". I am not going to deck you if you can't get your sentence to work without some pronoun, but make an effort. But for God's sake I am not a lady/lesbian/queen/aunt/any number of things I've been called recently. Just go for the male versions. Please.

This was a really hard entry for me to write. I hate having this conversation. So just. I don't want to have to write about this again.

Comments

[muccamukk]

Oh, thanks for the PSA (and it is really brave of you to write it!). I will be careful in the future.

[iambickilometer]

Have I fucked up? I have to check myself not to use male or gender-neutral pronouns for you, I'll admit, so I could be overcompensating. D: Do you want me to use male pronouns for you? Because I totally will. I know how much it fucking sucks to keep getting misgendered.

[usullusa]

It's okay. Honestly, I wish people would use male pronouns for me. If that's what you end up resorting to you, I'm not going to be unhappy. I just can't... actually ask people to. I'm just really fucked up about it because of everything that is going down with my family. Even though the problem was my sexual orientation the underlying conflict is largely about my gender identity.

[iambickilometer]

Then that is what I will do. Maybe other people will take the hint. but seriously, man, I am so sorry you have to deal with this shit.

[usullusa]

Thanks.

It's not your fault. I just have issues.

[ajnabieh]

Thanks for writing this. It's awkward to ask, sometimes, but very good to know.

[via_ostiense]

Duly noted, and thank you for the FYI. I'm sorry people have been misgendering you.